Headship

                     Ephesians 5:25-30

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing^[b] her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body.

                                                 Written By: Matthew Bracey

It is often said today that “A man is the king of his castle.”  Everything within that castle must be firmly under his control.  This includes his wife and children.  Everything must operate according to his will and perpetuate his comfort.  Meal selection must meet his standard and be prepared promptly when he’s ready to eat.  The children should not interfere with his post-work unwind routine of kicking off his shoes and reclining in his favorite thrown-like chair.  And his golden scepter, the television remote or video-game controller, must immediately come to his sole-possession upon his entry to the home.  All men may not subscribe completely to this way of living and home operation.  But because of the great influence of this ideology in our cultural, a portion of this manner of home administration has crept into the majority of homes at some point.  The base formula: Use your family, gifts, and free-time to elevate yourself.  Though I didn’t know it, and wouldn’t have admitted it then, I had allowed this form of thinking to creep into my own home.

While listening to a sermon from Pastor Chip Ingram one day, I was blown away by the following quote: “Kingdom thinking says people are important, and you use things to help people.  Worldly thinking says things are important, and you use people to get things.”  This couldn’t be more true!  I saw that I was in Christ, yet content to be a product of my culture; instead of being a new creature in Jesus.  I realized that marriage wasn’t about “me being king” and keeping my wife and children in line so that I could have the most comfortable life I could.  But it was about showing that Christ is King, by mirroring His relationship with His Church.  My call to headship in my home is one of service, not dictatorship or abuse.  I have been given stewardship over my wife & children, with the responsibility of making sure that they bloom for God with all the brilliance He placed in them.  This can’t be accomplished with harsh words, oppression, and detachment.  Only by sacrificial love, prayer, and involved-discipleship can a man properly elevate his family.  And when we elevate our families continually in these ways, we elevate Christ.  Who by being lifted up will draw all men unto Himself(John 12:32), and allow all men to see that we belong to Him, as we show love one to another(John 13:35).